I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
