He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
