It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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