Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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