Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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(586): View more from Michigan

Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.

Fav 9 4106 1502
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(248): View more from Michigan

the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

Fav 9 1798 777
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(908): View more from New Jersey

A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.

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