Your tits are I can't wait for
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
