non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
