I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
