Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize