i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
