I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
