Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
