Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
