If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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