A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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