Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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