HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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