are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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