and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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