They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
