Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize