Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
