She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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