Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
