She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
