my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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