hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
