Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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