I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
