i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
