she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Man, jail baloney is awful.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
