We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
