The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize