I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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