I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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