Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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