Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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