I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
