Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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