i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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