Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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