Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
