Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
