i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
