Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
