I think i peed on brittanys purse
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
