Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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