Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
