So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize