Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
