Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Are my feet made of real feet?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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