I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
