ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
