About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
