Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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