So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
