so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
