addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
